< Introduction

Being Home

I had been inspired to come home so soon after my family's visit to Ann Arbor because of the smashing success of that visit. The visit to Homewood had been an afterthought when I first conceived this trip. But as plans shifted and challenges arose, the Homewood trip grew in importance.

I knew better than to expect the same family dynamics without the presence of my brother Brendan. He brings a certain liveliness to the mix. True to my expectations, this visit had a different feeling to it - one which was much quieter.

When I arrived, Dad was busy with pool chores, but Mom was ready to visit. She gave me some homemade cucumber soup from her garden, which I spilled on a freshly-bathed dog shortly afterwards. I thought it was kind of funny, because both my brother and I can be a bit on the bumbling side, despite our individual athletic abilities. Dad and I had laughed on the phone earlier about some of the accidents Brendan has had, and I know for sure that I'm a born klutz. Funnier still was the fact that the dog had been freshly bathed, and had been looking his best (see the "Pet" section).

I was hoping to go on a hike with Dad and Lily (my dog), but Dad's pool chores seemed to be taking a long time, and there was some shopping to be done, so it wasn't clear whether we'd do that today. As it turned out, Mom, Dad, and I had three different understandings about how the things would be done. We had to get some corn from a local farm market, and some zucchinis, but not from the same market. We might go for a hike, and Dad needed to go to the library.

Imagine the possible ways to configure the order of these individual trips; add the variable of two drivers between whom we could divide the labor, and assume that at some point the two people would end up in the same car going to a hiking trail. It requires only a little imagination to come up with at least three different plans. Once we got it sorted out, Dad and I were both going to the library, then to the farm market, then to the trail, and finally, to the grocery store for the zucchini which should not be gotten at the farmer's market. Neither Dad nor I would have decided on our own to buy zucchini separately, but we were not the food-buying decision makers, so this decision held.

There was also another misunderstanding. I had been planning all along to go to Homewood alone (see the "Homewood" section), on whichever day everyone was at work. Originally, this would have been Friday (see the "Introduction"). When the trip got moved back, this day turned out to be Monday. Homewood started out just being the thing I was going to do because I'd be there during one day when no one was around. Dad must have thought that this was something we would do together. He even brought it up as something we might do today. I was not even close to being ready to go to Homewood. I had not looked at a map, and had wanted to do it with an entire day ahead of me because I had no idea how long it would take or what might come up.

Also, it was a personal quest for me, so I had not shared much of my thinking with anyone. In general, despite having just spent perhaps six months reading little aside from African-American literature, I'd not discussed my thinking with anyone, except perhaps my husband. Once again, it was a deeply personal quest, and I didn't know anyone else who studied the subject, so I did not make it a point to share this interest. That's an introvert for you. I don't share my thinking about most of my personal endeavors with others. I have brought up some of my more eccentric pursuits with a friend only to have a conversation turn into dead silence.

My plan for Homewood was pretty low-key: take a very lovable dog for building a bridge between myself and Homewood's residents; take a look at the streets about which John Edgar Wideman wrote; try to locate the row houses where he and his siblings had grown up; and get out. I knew I wouldn't fit in, and that people would wonder what the heck I was doing there. I wanted to be personable, but low-key, and did not want to wear out my welcome.

Dad presented a very different, more formal and educational approach, which took me by surprise because I had not even considered that he might be interested in going. I did not even know he had thought about it. Mom had told me on the phone that he would not want to go, and I had given the matter no further thought. This made for some awkward moments, and I felt badly. Dad and I had on many occasions visited neighborhoods which were unfamiliar, or familiar to him, but from the distant past. It made sense that he might want to go along, but it had just never occurred to me to think of that in the case of this trip, perhaps because we had not gone on this type of adventure for such a long time.

Once any plans for going to Homewood today were shelved, we worked out the plan we would follow, and embarked on our shopping/hiking trip. I didn't know how to explain to Dad why I had not thought of him when I planned the trip. The reasons were complex, and I didn't think that I could adequately explain them in a conversation at this time. We did not discuss it any further. Fortunately, the awkward moments seemed to pass, and we had a nice hike, accompanied by stimulating conversation.

Dad told me a lot about the notion of totems (see the "Totem" section) on our hike, and at dinner, he and Mom talked more about the speech they'd both seen regarding communication with animals. I was only mildly surprised that Dad was so interested in this topic, but I was pleasantly surprised that Mom was, and thought it was pretty cool that this was yet one more pursuit they could share, although Mom did not reveal her totem when the topic came up. Mom and Dad had plenty of shared interests which they spent time together pursuing.

I had assumed that Dad would have been watching the Olympics, as I had been, so I figured that after dinner, we'd retire to the TV room. He wanted to read instead, so I watched the Olympics alone, in the company of Lily. I surprised myself by being ready to fall asleep by 10, so I suggested to the rest of the family that we reconvene for dessert, which we did. We discussed the unfortunate situation of Thomas, Ian's young brother. Mom and Dad are very concerned about Thomas, as are other people close to us, but who do not know Thomas well or at all. No one likes to see a kid in distress which goes beyond the normal stresses of being a teenager.

The next day, we shared breakfast, but this seemed to be a day on which everyone would do his or her own thing. Dad had things to do, Mom had things to do, and we had all gotten a late start. I had prepared batter for banana bread, and now the day had advanced into early afternoon. I decided to get outside and enjoy the perfect weather (see the "Hiking" and "Bicycling" sections). We reconvened for a delicious dinner which included all of the traditional summer favorites, and afterwards pulled out a Pittsburgh map to locate Homewood (see the "Homewood" section). Before I knew it, the weekend was over and it was time to go to bed. I planned to be on the road by 9 am the next day.
^ Pittsburgh - August 2004 < Introduction Traveling with a Canine Companion >