Table of Contents: The Big Bike Accident - September 1, 2004

I was having a dream. It was a nice dream, but I can't recall it. I woke up surrounded by faces and voices. I didn't understand what was going on. I don't recall being very alarmed. I knew something was wrong, but I don't think I was awake enough to think. I think that someone might have asked me for a phone number, because I know that they made me say something. I might have had to say that they would talk to my husband using that number.

I only remember one face, though there were others and many voices much closer to my head. At arms' length was a woman who looked very concerned. She held my hand and I kept my eyes on her face when they were open. I held her hand and looked at her and felt that as long as she was there, things would be OK.

I don't remember much about going from the ground into the ambulance. There was so much commotion, and I think I may have faded in and out of consciousness. When I knew I was going in the ambulance and would have to leave the woman behind, I did not fret. I knew it had to be.

In the ambulance, I think I may have begun to be aware that I had been biking and that I was no longer biking, but was in an ambulance, so something had gone wrong. But I couldn't remember anything going wrong. I just remembered dreaming. I thought that maybe this was still part of the dream - I didn't want it to be real. As reality tried to crowd its way in, I tried to force it back by thinking it was part of a dream. But I couldn't sustain that for very long.

There was one man and one woman in the ambulance with me. The man did most of the work, directing the woman. I think she might have been new. I knew she had a job to do, but when I could, I sought out her free hand and squeezed it. She held on as much as she could, when she didn't need it for her job. It helped me to feel that I was not alone.

I was beginning to accept that something had happened. I knew that something had happened to my teeth. Maybe back at the site of the accident someone had said something about my teeth. My tongue automatically sought out the sockets where my front teeth had been and found them empty. I knew that this wasn't good, but I had no emotional response.

In the ambulance I began to cry. I was very scared. I didn't know what had happened, and why I couldn't remember anything. I felt like I was living in a bad dream. I kept thinking to my self "this is so not what I wanted to do with my evening". When I was done crying, I told myself that it was enough, no more crying. I would be a "big girl" and be brave. I would not indulge in self pity because I knew that would get old really fast.

I remember someone saying that they'd gotten ahold of Ian, and that he'd be meeting us at the E.R. My memory is very foggy after that. I think I remember a little of being wheeled from one place to another after the ambulance got to the hospital. I must have faded in and out of consciousness, because I just don't remember that whole episode very clearly at all.

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Next: Being in the E.R.

Table of Contents: The Big Bike Accident - September 1, 2004